School Counselor of the Year Secrets (#106)

Matt Fleck:
Welcome back to the Inspiring School Counselors podcast, where we talk with everyday school counselors about their lives, the resources that help them get through their day, and what keeps them motivated for the amazing work that they and you do. Aimee Portteus talks today with Lydia McNeiley, Indiana’s newest school counselor of the year, who shares the social media app that she loves best, how she relaxes after a long school day, and her least favorite phrase from students. Here’s Lydia to introduce herself.  

Lydia McNeiley:
I am, my name is Lydia McNeiley. I am the college and career coordinator for the School of City of Hammond. Um, I’m a licensed school counselor. I am the previous lead middle school counselor at Scott Middle School. But right now my role is, um, I have a small group of students that I work with, but I also oversee, um, the college and career readiness program for the district and also oversee the school counseling program for the district. 

Aimee Portteus:
That’s great. Well, I’m sure that means you have a lot on your plate on a daily basis. 

Lydia:
Yes. 

Aimee:
Yeah. Well, we’re looking forward to hearing about all the good work you do. So, um, are there particular resources either in establishing that relationship administrator or any other kind of resource that’s positively impacted you in the last year or so?  

Lydia:
As odd as it sounds, but I think, like I’m on Twitter a lot, not, probably not as much as I was.  I’ve been a lot busier, but I could look back and I could say like school counselor chat on Twitter. So like the hashtag #SCchat is like school counselor chat on Twitter, and I know Twitter has its, you know, pros and cons, but the school counseling community on Twitter, and I’ve heard it’s that way on Facebook too, but I’m just not on Facebook. But for me at least, I have grown so much and I’ve made so many different connections just off of Twitter, just off of that community, not education, like in general. I mean, and, and I have made connections that way too, but just like the school counseling community on Twitter, like, they’re just amazing and you learn so much from the different, like you learn from the, you know, elementary school role and you learn from the, um, counselor educator role, high school. So you’re learning so much about the different things that are going on, not only across the country, but just at the different levels and best practices across the board. 

Aimee:
That is cool. That is cool. And it, there’s always some comfort in hearing stories from other school counselors and realizing you’re not in a unique situation that we all share similar, uh, struggles and similar desires for our students. 

Lydia:
I think before Christmas break everybody’s like crawling to break and it’s kind of, you know, that camaraderie and just that struggle is kind of, you know, it’s good to kind of, like you said, you know, you’re not the only one in it. 

Aimee:
Yeah, that’s great. That’s great. So, you know, we all could use good advice from time to time, but let’s, let’s talk about, have you ever had any bad recommendations or advice and or have you ever encountered a message that you didn’t want to embrace as a school counselor?  

Lydia:
Um, I think just kind of wanting to keep things the way they are, like that status quo kind of thing. And maybe that, maybe the guidance counselor mentality and not the school counselor mentality. It is frustrating when I first hear it. It’s like, or when I hear guidance counselor period. Uh, it’s just kind of, my family knows already though. Like if there’s a movie and you know, you’ve, you’ve probably seen some of the movies that have been out and they’ll say, guidance counselor, and they laugh at me because I will sit there and I’ll say, and they, they no G word. We know mom, no g word, but it’s, it’s hilarious that they know this already. Or if we’re, if my daughter’s not even at home, she doesn’t even live with us anymore. But like, she’ll text Uh Oh. I heard the G word, like so she knows already. It’s hilarious!

Aimee:
I love that. I love that. I, I really appreciate what you said that sometimes we have to carve out our opportunities and those are the, the best kinds of change. Right?. Like when you have to take those steps. That’s great. Um, okay, so are there any books or resources that you would recommend to other school counselors? 

Lydia:
Um, so I am hoping we’re gonna do some Hatching Results training, but I love the Hatching Results books. Like, I love those books. I think they’re really, um, like if you go through them and then there’s like elementary, there’s the middle, like there’s different levels of it too. So you can kind of like pick your expertise or work, you know, whatever you’re working on within the field and then just kind of really go through it. That, and I love Interrupting Racism from Alicia Osby and Rebecca Atkins. Like, I love that book. I think it’s like a really, I was on a book study with them years ago and that’s how I found out through Twitter how I even found out about the book. And she really interviewed two counselors across the country for that book. And so a lot of the scenarios that you see in the book are, well, they all, they’re all real and they’re all like, legitimate issues that school counselors has, school counselors have faced. So I think it’s good just to kind of like look at that and reflect on it and kind of use some of that information for your practice. So I, I really enjoy, and it’s a really quick, easy read. 

Aimee:
So the racism book, how has that impacted your practice? 

Lydia:
So I think that, um, before the book and before like, I think that book kind of was the catalyst of just kind of saying like, okay, well this is our role and so we should be advocating for all students, so what does that look like? So I, I understood that we wanted to be, you know, a leader within the building. But I think that book, just giving us the opportunity to see how, um, what, first of all what other school counselors are doing, but then also understand the power of what I can do as an advocate for that student. 

Aimee:
When you feel overwhelmed or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do to jumpstart yourself again? How do you, how do you maintain the energy that it takes to be the quality school counselor that you obviously are? 

Lydia:
I’ll close the door. Um, I will close the door. So before I, I didn’t, I didn’t think that that was possible or, or good for me to do, but I, I do, I close the door, um, and I take a few minutes to kind of reset and I think about things like that situation today with, with the little girl getting the scholarship or you know, allowing, allowing me that, allowing myself that time to kind of just reset, take even if it’s five minutes, 10 minutes, whatever it is. And then I could say, okay, um, I need like the little happy thoughts, you know, the Happy Marble is from whatever that hook movie or whatever was years ago, the marbles, the happy thoughts. That’s what I do. So sometimes you have to like, you know, refill that bag with the happy thoughts. So yeah, that’s what I try to do. 

Aimee:
We do like to, um, end our podcast with rapid fire questions. And so I’m just gonna fling these at you and you’re gonna gimme the first thought that’s on your mind. Is that okay? 

Lydia:
Okay. 

Aimee:
Okay. What song or activity helps you de-processs after a long day? 

Lydia:
I drive home with the music blasting and sometimes it involves curse words, sometimes it doesn’t, but I do, and I don’t really like being interrupted during that time because that is my time to kind of just relax and, and reset. And so yes, definitely might have some curse words, but definitely all the way up. Yeah. So laugh. 

Aimee:
Maybe you might be dancing a little bit. Who knows? <laugh>, I like that. 

Lydia:
Please, over, I forget anybody’s looking <laugh>. 

Aimee:
What question or statement from a student annoys you the most? 

Lydia:
I can’t if they say I can’t, like, it’s just I want them to be able to try, like, I want them to be able to see all the opportunities that are available. I know sometimes things are rough, but I want them to be able to see that light at the end of the tunnel. 

Aimee:
Okay. Last one. What’s the most unique job you’ve had other than being a school counselor? 

Lydia:
Um, I work in a call center, which is probably why I am really empathetic in understanding the plight of our parents when they don’t answer the phone at three o’clock, because I used to have to hide like this because we were on call all the time. We had limited breaks, we had limited lunches. And so if my daughter’s school called, I had to hide. So when I hear people saying, oh, our parents don’t care, and I, I know what that’s like to not be able to answer that phone or to hide because I couldn’t answer it. So I’m very mindful of that and I like to say that to people just because I want them to. It’s, you know, I, I’ve had too many conversations with educators over, okay, well they’re not answering well, have you, you know, I’m not, I’m not saying work late, I’m not saying, but I’m just saying like, you know, you have to be mindful of like, not everybody has a luxury to be able to use the phone and, and answer a call whenever the phone rings. So yeah.

Aimee:
Absolutely. Lydia, it has been really fun to talk to you. I’ve really, really enjoyed it. Anyway, thank you again. 

Lydia:
Thank you. Thank you.  

Matt:
You can find links to the resources Lydia mentioned today and a few other resources she thought about afterwards at our Inspire Success podcast website, which is simply inspire success.org/podcast. When you go there, you’ll also find many other podcasts with other inspiring school counselors, and a way for you to answer a few questions about what you do and what resources you like so that we can feature you as a future podcast guest. All that@inspiresuccess.org slash podcast. I’m Matt Flex. Hey, thanks again for listening. Have a great week.